letting go

The Single Woman’s 30-Day Blogging Challenge: Day 6 & 7

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I didn’t get a chance to post yesterday so I’ll be answering two questions today. Brace yourselves! 

6)      Sound off on the quote “Every woman has the exact love life she wants”

I agree with this statement but I think she can only have the love life she wants based on what she knows. If she has been nurtured to see negative relationships, she tends to follow those patterns until she becomes conscious of those bad habits. A 21 year old will experience relationships differently than a 31 year old because she is inexperienced. Now if a 31 year old is still having the same issues she did as a 21 year old then she’s just dumb. She deserves growth and much more. So she owes it to yourself to do better and have better and to truly have the love she wants! 

As for me, check my last post about sinlge-life sex 😉

7)      Where you are in your life vs. where you thought you would be at this point

This is a tough one for me, the emotions run deep. So bare with me. 

Currently, I work from home. I am the Editor in Chief of my own Magazine, The COCO Magazine. I’m an entrepreneur, content curator and business woman. I love what I do and thank God for this opportunity and gift every day. I am single.

Where I thought I would be?

I had plans, I have plans, I envisioned them on a regular basis.  At 25, I’m supposed to be living on my own, in a condo with a dog and have my own car. I’d be working at a corporate PR company handling big deals and clients. And a couple years later I would move to the Caribbean to start my own PR company or do contract work for a few companies in the Caribbean, enabling me to travel. I envisioned what my home would look like, the lifestyle I would have and of course the man who would be right by my side. I have none of that. It has been the most frustrating thing in my life thus far. It has me very emotional at times. What that does to a person….it breaks your soul. I’m not even going to talk about my finances *eyes closed*. My cousins and I are very close, cousin #1(Twin) and Cousin #2(Partner). Twin recently graduated from Law School and got a job out in the city where she studied. She now has a job, a condo and a new car. I had to help her condo shop, could you imagine the amount of strength I needed to do that?? Partner, just recently bought a brand new car and she hasn’t mentioned it to me yet and she’s going backing school. It’s not jealously…I’m not envious. I’m happy for them, but I’d like to be happy for myself also. I’m not comparing situations, because we’re all different. But this is not where I thought I would be and I have to watch others hit the milestones I planned for. The things I mentioned above are all acquisitions, things that we think bring value to who we really are and I shouldn’t let those things define my goals, visions and current state of being, but it does.

I’m very conscious of my mind state and I try to remove these negative thoughts in order to grow and achieve new goals for myself.

You can never grow until you are content with where you are anyways.


The Single Woman’s 30-Day Blogging Challenge: Day 5

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5)      The biggest misconception you think people have about single life

The biggest misconception is that we’re lonely. That we’re ultimately crying and dying for someone to fill the void. How about, we like the down time and freedom to chart our own course…never thought about that huh?! And it doesn’t mean that we’re selfish. Maybe we’re working on being self-FULL! There’s a big difference! 

And then the other misconception is, they think we’re not having sex. Umm, single-life sex is probably one of the best kinds of sex you’ll ever have! Just saying…

Let’s not judge, that single person might actually be content with their bottle of wine, vanilla candles and handy yet steady vibrator or steady yet handy single-life sex partner! 

The Single Woman’s 30-Day Blogging Challenge!: Day 3

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3)      Describe a moment or a day when being single was really awesome

Last year I went back home to St. Vincent and the Grenadines for a couples weeks. I hadn’t traveled for about 2 years because I was in school. I traveled on my own with no cares in the world…one of the best experiences and best trips thus far in my life. I was free, I felt free. I was happy, I was full of joy. I couldn’t wait to see my family and friends and relax and listen to the sounds of my beautiful island. I didn’t check in with anyone, I answered to myself. I met new people, formed new relationships and was feeling unstoppable. Things in my life were aligning and I was completed centered. I experienced that with no man, no boyfriend, and no play thing. 

When I travel it represents my journey through my personal life. I learn more and grow much quicker. I made the mistake once of traveling to see a man. Let me just say this, I learned a lot and saw a lot! Traveling solo with no attachments enables me to grow and become stronger. When I find someone who gives me the room for that process to happen, then I know I’ve find the right one. Don’t get it confused, I’m not saying we’ll break up so I can travel and frolic! I’m saying if we can travel together and I have the room to explore my own personal journey while with him…that’s pretty freakin’ awesome. Then again, isn’t that how we create balance in relationships? Isn’t that how we create successful relationships?