Aside Posted on Updated on
19) What is something about you that people would be surprised to learn?
I’m pretty open, I don’t hide much. I think speaking your truth is important. I don’t know if this is considered a surprise, but I do have a heart condition, that can become active at anytime really due to stress or hyperactivity. The condition is fatal. But I’m still here, kicking and well.
20) Describe your most difficult breakup and what you learned from it
It was a few years ago. We ended a long distance relationship because the timing was off and we wanted more from each other and we deserved more from each other. I ended it because it was becoming so real for me. I was falling in love and it needed to end before the pressure of where we lived and outside situations really tarnished what we had built. That break up had me weak. Truthfully I loved him since I was nine and I never thought he would even notice me. The hardest part about it was that we were really good friends and I felt like I lost one of my best friends. I knew love existed after experiencing him. I learned that people come into your life for a reason and a season. I learned so much from him. I was so honest with myself while I was with him. And I strive to be that person till this day. I learned that it’s ok to be me. The break up was hard because he meant so much to me, he always will.
I hope this post does not offend anyone.
15) Narrate a conversation between you and someone in your life who you never had closure with (a friend, an ex, a family member, etc.) What would you say? What would they say? What outcome would you hope for?
My uncle. He passed away on my 24th birthday. My father did not play an active role in my life growing up and unfortunately was not there when my mother gave birth to me. My uncle was there. So it only made sense when he passed on my birthday, life and death. He struggled with demons in his younger years and brought that into many of his relationships. His younger children(my cousins) became very controlling as a result of their father’s earlier life. Although my uncle remarried and turned his life around there are negative behaviours he left with his children which they took out on me. I resented him for that. The last conversation we had I was extremely rude to him and he had no idea why. I wanted to tell him that he ultimately hurt me too but I just didn’t know how. When he passed, broken relationships where mended except between an uncle and a niece. I would have told him that his ways affected me too and that till this day they affect me. I would also apologize for my behaviour.
Niece: You were abusive and in turn caused your children to become abusive in other ways
Uncle: what do you mean? What are you talking about?
Niece: they have hurt me and they are this way because you hurt them. So you hurt me too. I’m older now and you’re no longer my moon and stars. I see you as a man, flaws and all. I understand how they are the way they are, but I don’t want to be subjected to their abuse anymore.
Uncle: (making excuses)
Niece: I’m sorry I was rude to you before. I had this hurt on my chest that I didn’t know how how to get off. My father ignited it and I saw him in you. You both are supposed to protect me, not abuse and neglect me.
16) If you planted a time capsule right now of your life to be opened in 20 years, what would be in it?
1. My children’s bible
2. My body butter – new business venture
3. a copy of my first magazine issue
4. my old blackberry
5. a pair of my favorite heels
6. a bottle of El dorado rum
7. A few albums (Jcole – Born Sinner, Drake – Take Care(not Nothing Was The Same) and Emeli Sande – Our Version of Events
8. Acts of Faith by Iyanla Vanzant
9. A pic of my family and I
10. A list of my current goals
My diary is my real time capsule, so glad I keep them.
5) The biggest misconception you think people have about single life
The biggest misconception is that we’re lonely. That we’re ultimately crying and dying for someone to fill the void. How about, we like the down time and freedom to chart our own course…never thought about that huh?! And it doesn’t mean that we’re selfish. Maybe we’re working on being self-FULL! There’s a big difference!
And then the other misconception is, they think we’re not having sex. Umm, single-life sex is probably one of the best kinds of sex you’ll ever have! Just saying…
Let’s not judge, that single person might actually be content with their bottle of wine, vanilla candles and handy yet steady vibrator or steady yet handy single-life sex partner!